That was 1 293 days ago.
I met an old man after walking around for a bit. I was attracted to some bright light and he stood in the way. He told me I couldn’t go in; he told me to turn around. Away from the light.
I asked if I were going to hell. I heard my voice quiver and felt tears run across my cheeks and I told him I was sorry, but he told me it wasn’t up to him.
That was 1 292 days ago.
And after that I just floated around in pitch black. I didn’t see anything. I blinked and opened my eyes – there was no difference.
I didn’t hear anything. Silence, that was it. I tried shouting, no words came. I tried clapping, I didn’t know where my hands were.
I didn’t feel anything. Not hot, not cold. I didn’t feel hunger, nor thirst.
I was alone with my thoughts that weren’t enough to pierce the blankness.
I had forgotten what color was. That was 1 012 days ago.
I had forgotten what music was. That was 833 days ago.
I had forgotten what loneliness was. That was 567 days ago.
I had forgotten what everything was. That was two days ago.
Then I saw a light.
It pierced my eyes and the heat stung my skin and the sound shook my whole body. As if all my senses had returned and I cried out of happiness.
He told me God had sent him to see how I was.
I slurred and begged the angel to take me away from this abyss. Because I’d rather be burning in hell than in here. He smiled so sweetly and told me hell didn’t exist.
Then he looked at me with tired eyes and told me he couldn’t do it even if he wanted to. For he was also stuck here, in the time before God created the universe, tasked by the Lord to look after the lost souls.
I asked for the kind angel’s name and he told me his name was Lucifer.
Then he vanished and left me back into the darkness.
That was one day ago.
Now I remember everything because of him. How long I’ve been stuck here. How the nothingness slowly sucked my very existence.
I’m tired; I just want to be happy. For my blood to boil and vapors to form beneath my charred skin… what a delight that would be.